My first trip back "home" to Laos in 2004 was both exciting and terrifying. With two small children and a big white husband, we stuck out like a sore thumb. Desperately wanting to blend in and be accepted, I ate everything that was offered to me and never complained about the lack of modern conveniences and amenities. Most importantly, visiting my ailing grandmother in a remote village brought tears of joy and sorrow to my heart. After this trip, I was haunted by the image of my grandmother's living conditions and the poverty that is so prevalent in Laos. I did not want to revisit those emotions again.
Four years later in December 2008, I returned to Laos and confronted my feelings. It was on this trip that my life and feelings about Laos changed. My siblings and I brought our families back to Laos to honor and memorialize our parents passing. In my parents' quaint and quiet village, I witnessed true acts of giving from the heart. Every villager came bearing gifts consisting of a tiny sack of rice; some even mustered enough money to donate a dollar or two to pay their respects to my parents. One very kind old lady gave my husband a neatly wrapped orange handkerchief. When he opened it, there was a small bundle of cash worth a little less than two dollars. We both were deeply touched and felt awful because she had so very little in the worldly standards and yet had given him something from her gracious heart. We tried to find her after the ceremony ended to show her our love and thanks, but she disappeared into the crowd.
During this visit, I also learned from the village people about the many contributions my parents made to improve their village and the legacy they left behind. Their act of selfless giving to their village was never made known to me. Perhaps they felt I was too Americanized to understand their need to contribute to the land and people they love. I admire them so much for the way they silently and selflessly sacrificed their own wants to give to the needs of their village people. My parents never splurged on any excessive wants. My parents truly lived a simple life in the US in the same manner as if they hadn't moved away from Laos. Growing up with very little money, my parents instilled in me the importance of working hard, sacrificing, and serving one another.
Days spent connecting and conversing with the little children and women of my parents' village of Baaktaphan provoked a range of emotions that I can't quite describe in words. Despite their circumstances, these wonderful moms were no different than me. They want to see their kids grow up and have wonderful opportunities in life. I don't remember her name, but one particular little girl's face is etched in my mind and heart. An overwhelming feeling and impression struck a chord with me when she greeted me with her big smile and embraced me. At that very moment, I knew from the burning feeling in my heart that I must help this little girl. I thought to myself that this poor girl could have been my daughter and as her mother, why wouldn't I want a better life for her in Laos or anywhere else for that matter. As I continued walking around the village where my parents took millions of steps, my only desire was to follow and walk in their same exact footsteps in life. The seed of "Jai Lao" was planted in this quiet village tucked away from miles of civilization.
Four months later in May 2008, I decided to organize a service mission to return back to Laos. My older sister, Noi and a few friends (Martha, Breanna, and Da) who shared the same passion and desire to help our Lao brothers and sisters were able to accompany me on this amazing adventure of a lifetime. This service mission consisted of a long, arduous road trip traveling from the most southern part of Laos to the beautiful and lush northern region of Laos. It was the most rewarding and educational two weeks of my life. The children and women we met and talked to along the way were warm, kind-hearted, lovable, and fun-spirited. The cares and concerns of our lives were made small as we focused our attention on those who had nothing, but lived for everything. Their life circumstances were poor and yet their hearts were filled with riches--full of love and desire to give whatever they have without hesitation.
Each trip I have taken to Laos draws me closer and nearer to my own parents and to the sweet and kind people of Laos. I am more humbled by their happiness despite their poor circumstances. The villagers taught me that you don't have to have a lot of money to give; you simply need a big heart. My parents, even in death, taught me the greatest lesson in life which is to never forget who I am and to give back to where I came from. My parents' legacy lives on as their Spirits and memories continue to burn in my heart. They are forever etched in my mind, heart, and soul. I am grateful to dedicate my service to the Jai Lao Foundation in loving memory of my parents.
By Soutkita La Reagan